WofeWorks: 2010

Coma State of Mind

I envy the man who has faced death,
And I envy the man who hasn't.
I'm jealous of the man who has died,
And I'm jealous of the man who is still alive.

I love the man who risked his life for me,
And I love the man who just sat back and
Ignored me in my time of need.
I'm happy for the man who has put me in this state,
And I'm happy for the man who's trying to keep me alive.

I'm not really me,
I'm not who I used to be,
The me you're seeing in front of you,
Hasn't let her pain shine through.
I'm living life, or is it death,
In a coma-state of mind.

I envy the man who wants to die,
And I envy the man who wants to live his life.
I'm jealous of those who are depressed,
And I'm jealous of those who aren't.

I love the man who is always high,
And I love the man who keeps his feet on the ground.
I'm happy for those who have died in the war,
And I'm happy for those who survived.

The man who is dead,
Is missing the pain of life.
The man who is alive,
Is suffering throughout.

But then there is me,
who is neither dead nor alive.
I just float around in a coma-state of mind.
I see what's going on around me,
And I hear all those people talk.
Nobody thinks that it hurts me,
Nobody notices the hurt that won't let me be.
So, I put myself in a coma...
in a coma-state of mind.

8 Years

8 years...
It warrants a hello
A goodbye...
Some sort of speech.

It's over, I know
I made the final decision
Said the final goodbye
But 8 years.

Nothing to scoff at.
Nothing to forget.

Yes, it's time to move on...
To move forward.
Dance to a new tune

But years and no hello
A harsh reality
A raw edge
A tough score.

8 years
No hello
No goodbye

A three minute visit...
A tuneless tune.
No eyes contact,
No sound.

8 years
Should warrant a hello
And a goodbye

Come

Summoned across the Heavens
to a world as yet unknown,
I hear your voice beckoning
"Come be with me as one."

"Come let me look into your eyes
and tempt your every sense."
"Come let me hold you closely
and lose myself in your fragrance."

"Come show me your smile,
if only for a day or two."
"All that is my world
I want to share it with you."

Like an Angel taking flight
I'll cross this space and time,
with nothing else between us...
just your heart and mine.

Copyright © 2000 - Heather Cacciatori

Coming Home

I'm a self-assured, confident woman who's very secure in myself and where I am in life. I walk my path with great strides and hold my shoulders high daring the world to try to get past the protective barriers I put around myself.

Then one day, I met you and I got thrown off balance...and began to notice that over time my protective barriers were beginning to tumble. The moment we saw eye to eye, I felt as if the final piece to my heart's puzzle finally snapped into place. Time stood still for a brief moment before it hit warp speed. That's when I realized that I'm not meeting you for the first time, but rather meeting you again for the first time in this life. It's like coming home and no matter what I do at this point, I can't stop it...I can't prevent it from taking me further down this road.

It's a powerful ride at an alarming rate of speed and I fear that it'll come to a crashing halt. Trying to take things slowly...trying to gather my belongings before the leap is made. Then it dawns on me...the leap was made long ago, before I was even aware of it. So I turn to you, with my heart in my hands and offer you what I didn't think I'd ever be able to offer again. I'm taking a mighty leap in a short time and hoping that I'll be able to feel your acceptance in your embrace and in your kiss, while seeing the reflection of a future in your eyes.

Cowboy Up

Your boots are in the stirrups
As you fly out of the gate.
You're holding tightly the rope
Praying that the ground can wait.

His tail flies high
As his head drops low.
Up like a rocket and
Spinning like a top none too slow.

The ground is getting closer as
Your strength is fading fast.
You should have known when you climbed on
That your next ride could be your last.

Eight short seconds lasts a long time
When your life flashes before you eyes.
You ain't never been bucked like this before
But you've got to thank God for the ride.

Somedays you can stay in the saddle,
And somedays you may get thrown.
Sometimes you may have to hold on tight,
'Cuz life sure is like a rodeo.

Copyright © 1996 - Heather Cacciatori

Crazy For You

I feel you on me
in me
around me
Surrounding me with your soft words
Lifting me up to you
drawing me in
No desire to fight it
No strength but yours to hold me
rocking me with my tears
and fears
I need your mouth on mine
to drink my sorrow
and feed my happiness
Quench my thirst with your kiss
Satisfy me with your touch
Heighten my senses with your smell
Elate me with your smile
Take me to your haven
of sweet surprises
of new discoveries
of untold stories
and new secrets
I feel you on me
in me
around me
Any my whole being tingles
feeling alive
feeling the love
and loving you

Copyright © May 2002 - Heather Cacciatori

Dedicated To You

When nobody else will listen to you,
I will hear every word.

When nobody else will talk to you,
I will say it all.

When everybody else looks right through you,
I will look into your eyes with a smile.

When everybody else laughs at you,
I will remain by your side.

When others hurt you,
I, too, will feel the pain.

When noone else in this world looks up to you,
I will place you on a pedestal.

When you are hungry,
I will give you my last piece of bread.

When you are thirsty,
I will give you my last drop of water.

When you feel as though you are drowning,
I will swim out to save you.

When noone else seems to need you,
I will always love you.

When you feel as though you are being torn into pieces,
I will give you my heart.

Copyright © 1993 - Heather Cacciatori

Losing Ground

Lying in the same bed, yet a barrier separates us
my side versus your side - anger invades our sleep
fall asleep angry…wake up angry
no resolution and few options

Sighs fill the air - no movements are made
my anger dissipates as you turn away
I am unable to hold onto it the way you do

Another day and I don't want to fight
I don't care who wins but I can't keep losing ground
can't keep walking barefoot on the glass shards that surround you
The air is thick with your disapproving glances

You long for yesterday - I long for today
growing weary of the angry tones filled with
what-ifs and constant asking of why things changed
my feet bleed more as each day passes…

Love is present - that much is certain.
Despite belief, sometimes love isn't enough
Binds get stretched tighter
…how far till they break?

With each step
glass presses further into my feet
my lungs fight for air.

Losing ground
losing faith
losing you
…losing me…

Copyright © 2010 - Heather Cacciatori

Can we go back?

Is it possible to be someone you used to be? Can you be someone who is one way then goes through something tragic, and then go back to being the way you were? Whether it’s an event, an occurrence, something simple or something life-altering…you need to grow from it in order to move past it, so essentially, there’s only movement in one direction. How can you go back? People change and adapt to their environment, we need to in order to survive. We can go from fearless to fearful, loving to unloved, happy to depressed and vice versa. We fear the unknown, it’s only natural, and while we may not fear the dark we do fear what can happen in the dark. We can be calm and rational until we get eaten away inside and the rage releases itself from its chamber. But can we go back? Truth is, I don’t think so. How can we unsee something we’ve seen? Unhear something we’ve heard? Undo something we’ve done? Unsaid something we’ve said? Unvictimize a victim? Unabuse the abused? We can’t reclaim our innocence. We can’t regain our blindness to such a dirty, dark world.

I wish we could…go back, I mean. There’s so many times that I look at who I am and who I can be and wonder where I would be now if things in my past went differently. If so many “lessons” hadn’t been learned, would I still have the control issues that haunt me? Would I still fear that I could be lost to the monster that may hide inside? Would it even matter? If things were different during times in my past, would I still need the adrenaline rush to fight my boredom? We change, we adapt, we lose our innocence, we lose our passion for all things simple. Is it really for the best?

Copyright © 2008 - Heather Cacciatori

Together

Every now and again
There comes along a special friend.
Someone who understands...
Someone you're not afraid to let in.

You are that special friend, my dear.
Here we are now--you and I
Taking life by the throat
And making sweet memories as time goes on by.

Together we have shared a thousand dreams
And we have shed a thousand tears.
Together we have shared a million laughs
And we have faced our many fears.

Since forever we have shared our many joys
And for just as long, we have shared our opinionated insight.
We have shared our smiles a million different days
And we have cried our tears silently for a thousand nights.

A thousand hopes have been scattered at our feet
And together a thousand dreams have come true.
So many times that we felt we were beat
But together...we would always pull through.

There were so many times I thought I was lost
But then I'd find you beside me or on the phone.
It wasn't so long ago, I thought you had left me
But now I know that you'll never make me stand alone.

Thank you for standing beside me
When life just didn't seem fair.
I don't know how you do it
But thank you for always being there!

Copyright © 1995 - Heather Cacciatori

Forgotten Symbol

Tumbling around in my head, so many words have been spoken...thrown away...given up in sacrifice. Not to a God or a goddess but tossed around in anger, hurt, betrayal, and love. Words speak a language, but actions speak of their own motives. Something so simple as a symbol of an undying love hastily removed in anger and pressed into the palm of a now tortured lover. Where there was a will and a way to overcome all odds, now there is an acid-laced hole where faith and devotion once lived. How do you fix the hole that was so easily burned? Does anything neutralize it from growing larger and more demanding? Is there a solution or a treatment that can fix it...repair it as though it never occurred? There is no ready answer...no secret revelation in waiting. A racing mind and an unsteady heart is what remains, neither one able to survive without the other yet both always willing to try. The acid made its' way throughout the soul and left a trail of fire in its wake, burning fast yet trying to be put out at the same time. Neither wish is successful, it just makes the mind run faster - possibly pushing it harder than it needs to be pushed. What remains is left to be unseen by unforgiving eyes. Unforgiving eyes that already see too much when it comes to the tortured soul beneath. The inner eyes are a strong, strange and powerful beast - a beast that feeds on inner turmoil and confusion... a beast that loves to tell you where you went wrong...and a beast that will claw its way through all remaining innocence until all is possibly lost and a decision has been reached and held in a firm grasp. There is no easy answer and no easy emotion. There's nowhere to hide until all inner sanctions have been breached and a strangled cry has been released to be heard by ears that may also be unforgiving. Something so simple as a symbol removed wreaks more havoc than any words that could have been said...spoken or not.

Copyright © August 2005 - Heather Cacciatori

Giving Up The Fight

Desire, such a small word that means so much:
A new feeling, a hotter heat, a firmer need.

A deep breath takes over my soul and
A fire envelops my skin.

Melting into a minute pile of flesh,
I am drawn to you.

Applying a firm bite to my lower lip,
I barely restrain from devouring your mouth.

The want in your eyes is a reflection of my soul.
It feels so right, yet I fight so hard.

A deep sigh of frustration escapes my being but
The rapid thumping of my heart drowns the sound out.

A hot flush takes comfort on my skin and a giggle escapes you.
My eyebrow lifts high into my bangs and I can't help but glance at you.

Instantly, I wish I hadn't as I notice that your mirth-filled smile
Only highlights the deep color of arousal in your eyes.

Your smile slowly fades and your hand touches my cheek.
An inferno rages inside me and i can't fight the magnetic pull of your presence.

My eyes drift closed and my last racing thought was
Something about giving up the fight.

Your lips brush mine and all reality fades away as
I grow wings and soar.

Copyright © June 2001 - Heather Cacciatori

Changes

There's no such thing as perfection,
It's merely an illusion we all look for...
in relationships…in life…in love.

We seek the perfect partner
…the perfect mate.
But what may be perfect today
…may not be at a later date.

Everyday we change and grow.
Life, environments, experiences…change us
So often it gets unaccounted for and gets forgotten

Your loved one begins comparing you
…not to another, no, but to you.
To how you used to be.
It's too late.
You can't go back - can never compete
with that you from your past.

They must love you enough to accept who you are
now, today, in the present.
Otherwise, it fizzles -
succumbs to the end that everything eventually reaches.
Tragic, yes, but real.

Change can't be prevented…
it must be embraced.

Copyright © 2010 - Heather Cacciatori

Borrowed Time (For Bampa)

Each moment we get to spend with you,
Each breath that passes between us…
It’s borrowed time we get to share.

Any minute it could end,
The smile on your lips now
Could be the last we get to see.

We love to hear your laugh,
We enjoy each interaction.
Borrowed time or not,
We enjoy every second we get.

Holding your hand,
Kissing your lips,
Touching your skin…

You open your eyes and we can’t help but remember
The younger man you used to be.
Strength is what you show us, each and every day.
You’re a fighter and a protector, but it’s ok now.

We are strong, too. We can take care of each other.
Now it’s time for you to take care of yourself.
When the peace is calling you,
Answer it…we will be ok.
We’ll see you again someday.

You are loved, as are we.
Borrowed time or not,
You are all we see.

Copyright © 2010 - Heather Cacciatori

Written 4/10/10: For Bampa

Goodbye, My Brother

With the wings of an Angel,
He came to me.
In the silence of the night,
He asked to be set free.

Let loose the pain and suffering,
So your peace you may find.
Your eternal love will fill our hearts
And your smile will fill our mind.

We'll miss you greatly,
My Brother Dear.
But we all know that your spirit
Will forever be near.

Copyright © Heather Cacciatori 2006

Hearts Truth

It has been years since we began our life together,
We have a child, a dog, two cats, and a house,
But do we still have the happiness we had then?
Has our love survived the strain of time passed?

I turn to you and silently look for answers that you cannot provide.
The questions belong to my heart, yet my brains fears the truth.
The silence stretches between us and with a smile you reach for my hand.
I clutch yours loosely, not knowing what else to do.
Joy brightens your smile and I look away,
Ashamed of the feeling that has escaped once more from my grasp.

If I was honest, I would say my love has faded,
...That my strength is gone,
...That my fire has cooled to a dull ember.
There is no passion in my touch,
No light in my eyes
And no desire in my blood.
Honesty alludes me when I look into your eyes,
As I cannot take away the joy I bring you.
I cannot be the breaker of your heart.
I cannot tell you that my dreams try to lead elsewhere
And that you are not involved.
So I smile and I say the three words you long to hear
And my soul dreams of when you will tire of me and
Ask to set yourself and your heart free.

Copyright © 2000 - Heather Cacciatori

Heavy Heart

He touched her cheek
And kissed her goodbye.
Then he turned around
And tried not to cry.
He left her standing there
Alone in the rain.
He drove quickly away
Trying to ignore the pain.
As he drove away into the night
Memories of her face flashed through his mind.
He had no choice.
He had to leave her behind.

Now he's traveling down
The road tonight.
His heart is heavy,
But his load is light.

He's driving quickly
Down the interstate
Praying the heartache
And tears will wait.
In his heart he knows
That leaving her is wrong,
But he has to prove to himself
That he's still rodeo strong.
As he looks out
Over the countryside
He prays for his heart
And an eight-second ride.

Now he's traveling down
The road tonight.
His heart is heavy,
But his load is light.

As the night pulls its
Covers up tight
He thinks of her face
And whispers, "Goodnight."

Now he's traveling down
The road tonight.
His heart is heavy,
But his load is light.

Copyright © 1993 - Heather Cacciatori

Life Is...

Life is but a game,
It's not an alien game, but
It's not an earthling game.
It's not a game of love and
It's not a game of hate.
Life is not a game of good
Nor is it one of evil.
It is a game that show us that
We are all equal,
That we are human,
That we can all live and...
That we can all die.

Copyright © 1991 - Heather Cacciatori

Kisses

Breath is short...I have none to spare
as her warm, wet lips kiss me there.
She visits the temple of my desire.
I drink her kisses of lust and fire.

I am wild, so beyond caring,
There is nothing greater then what we're sharing,
Hot-fired rockets shake my being
and there are stars behind my seeing.

Exquisite torment of touch and emotion,
her kiss a prelude to sweet devotion.
She kisses me wildly, painfully so.
I hold her tightly and won't let go.

Earth-stopping kisses, I am lost.
Upon waves of desire, hotly tossed.
She enters my soul with her tongue
and we are joined, ripe and young.

O! My lover has kisses to tease,
those that beg and those to please,
kisses of honey and kisses of wine,
kisses of hers and kisses of mine.

O! My lover has kisses of dreams,
those of deserts and those of streams,
kisses of fever and kisses of ice,
kisses of pleasure and kisses of device.

My lover has kisses of a changeful tide-
ones that got forth without a guide.
A jewel of kisses around my hips,
a wave of kisses to wash my lips.

My lover has kisses deep and true,
kisses of adoration and sweet ones, too.
What more can I tell you, other than this?
My lover is glor-i-ous and so is her kiss.

Copyright © 1997 - Heather Cacciatori

Love Revisited

Time and time again I think of you...
Longing for your touch...
Yearning to be wrapped around you.

The memory of your love's warmth beckons me...
drawing me in as I drift to sleep each night.

My heart hold the words,
while yours hold the melody.
Only together can we compose the song.

Your voice reaches deep into my soul
tugging the life back into my heart,
easing me into wakefulness.

My eyes open as I reach for you
only to find that you're not here.
At night you're always by my side
but in daylight, you're nowhere near.
My love for you never fades
and I live for the day
that we can have our love revisited
so we can start our life anew.

Copyright © January 2002 - Heather Cacciatori

Destination Unknown

Destination unclear
Yet driving full speed ahead
Not caring
Not looking into the blind-spots

A fire driving me
Forcing me to speed up
Throwing all caution into the wind

I allow myself to be pushed into a foggy abyss
The air so dense
Breathing is difficult
Yet I still surge ahead
With each breath I catch a whiff…

…A sweet fragrance
I’m only lured deeper into the chaotic confusion
Something caresses my cheek
A whisper of someone in the dark

The elation in my heart is enough to tell me…
The lightness in my soul is enough to show me…
The secure feeling of a lovers embrace is enough to prove to me…

Although the destination is unclear
The journey is definitely worth whatever may come of it.

Copyright © 2006 - Heather Cacciatori

Memories

Hold a favorite memory,
hug it to you tight.
Dream of it fondly
as you drift asleep tonight.

Don't let it slip away
like sand through your fingers.
You'll want to hold it close
so that it always lingers.

Memories are treasured -
more valued than gold.
They are guarded cautiously -
never to be sold.

Make the most of memories,
they're the best possession you've got.
Just be sure to cherish the happy ones,
for they never can be bought.

Copyright © 1991 - Heather Cacciatori