Poetry - expression from the heart. Although many are LGBT themed, the poetry and musings found here are not contained to any one lifestyle, as feelings have no prejudice. As long as you have an open mind and a willing heart you certainly do belong.
Dark Consumption
Things go well. Days proceed as they should - tasks get accomplished, and work gets completed. Every now and again, though, the darkness creeps up inside me and wreaks havoc with my happiness. Doubts set in and darkness settles upon my soul. The light fizzles and the warmth in my heart feels like a chilly rock of ice. Emotions leave me and loneliness fills me.
She doesn’t understand when this happens. She fears it’s because of her, but in all reality it’s all about me...only about me. I create it within myself somehow, knowing one day it will consume me. I wonder if I even have the ability to simply love. I think I have it mastered, then this lonely darkness makes me question it and hold people at bay.
One day she will catch on that I cannot allow her closer - not because I’m unwilling, but because I do not have the capabilities to do so. Maybe I’m afraid of future pain, both causing it and receiving it. Maybe I’m simply not cut out for a lifetime partnership. I do believe, however, that there will come a day she will cut the cord and sever the tie. When that time comes, the only blame I can lay will be my own...as I know this darkness exists and yet I continue to pretend it doesn’t. It will catch up to me...one day.
December 2009 - Heather Cacciatori
